THE STEEZY BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS PRELIMINARY REPORT
CAUTION DO NOT ENTER BEYOND THIS POINT. This is an official SBI crime scene investigation. This location is now closed due to suspicious extraterrestrial activity.
The suspect in question goes by the name of "$PLIFF", and is nowhere to be found. Approach with caution until further notice.
CRIME SCENE PHOTOS BELOW
The suspect goes by the name of $PLIFF. Measuring 6', this ape has psychedelic fur and is of "ALIEN ORIGIN". The suspect has been operating STEEZY TATTOO SHOP. We presume that the suspect is armed and dangerous. Please proceed with caution.
$PLIFF was recently seen in what appears to be a heightened alien state. The suspect does not appear to be violent in nature. SBI has recovered the STEEZY HARLEY that the suspect fled the scene with. Officials will discuss the proper course of action to return the motorcycle to the rightful owner whomever he or she may be.
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